I'm not gonna push you away, Buffy. Truth be told... [ he presses his lips together for a second. ] If I'd realized that you weren't already aware of what's happened for me, with us--I most likely wouldn't have said anything. Which isn't a good look, I know, but I don't want to hurt you. I know--I'm lousy at it, but I really don't. And without context, I know you probably think I was just being cruel, but the context really is one of those 'you had to be there' things.
I'm just-- [ he reaches up to scrub his hands over his face, then through his hair. ] I'm tired, and I hurt, I lost you, and then I lost Doyle, and now I'm here, with you again, and what the hell am I supposed to do? I could've-- [ a look of desolation crosses his face, a split second before he squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head, looking away from her so she can't see it. he could've been human. he could've stayed with her, and maybe...
maybe a lot more people would've died, that he ended up helping. and he cares about that, but it's buried under so much pain and sadness right now, it's hard to feel it.
finally, he gives a - frankly rather moody - shrug, still not looking at her. ] That's all, I guess. I'm just tired. And this place sure as hell isn't helping.
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I'm just-- [ he reaches up to scrub his hands over his face, then through his hair. ] I'm tired, and I hurt, I lost you, and then I lost Doyle, and now I'm here, with you again, and what the hell am I supposed to do? I could've-- [ a look of desolation crosses his face, a split second before he squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head, looking away from her so she can't see it. he could've been human. he could've stayed with her, and maybe...
maybe a lot more people would've died, that he ended up helping. and he cares about that, but it's buried under so much pain and sadness right now, it's hard to feel it.
finally, he gives a - frankly rather moody - shrug, still not looking at her. ] That's all, I guess. I'm just tired. And this place sure as hell isn't helping.